By Attila Ovari
Today I overheard a conversation people two people and during the conversation one of the people referred to “they” when talking about a decision made. When I thought about it I often hear people refer to the “royal they”. In fact I have used the term “they” referring to decisions or rules that I was not a part of. For example when the elected government makes a decision that seems ridiculous to us, we refer to the decision as being made by “them” or “they”.
Have you ever referred to decision made by a committee or workgroup that you are a part of that you disagree with as a decision made by them or they?
I think we all have at some point…. The challenge with referring to the “royal they” is that we tend to depersonalise the situation. This depersonalising of the situation leads to us to a feeling that we have no control over the situation. We become victims. This also leads to us into not taking responsibility for the situation and leads us in a downwards helpless spiral.
What was that I hear you say? “We do not always have control over the situation”. This may be true, however we do have control over the way we respond to the situation. This control over our response is very powerful. By taking control of our response we can actually end up expanding our circle of influence.
In summary, the more we take responsibility for our response and seek solutions to challenging situation, the more influence we will develop……
What is an area in your life that you have surrendered to others?
What can you do, that is in your control, about this situation?
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