Many years ago when I had just been an office manager for a couple of years we hired a young woman who seemed like she would be a good fit to our office. After a short period of time (a couple of months) I noticed that occasionally she would be moody and seem to have a chip on her shoulder when certain job tasks were given to her. But being a mom with kids about her age, I just brushed it off to being young and learning to deal with the difficulties of adulthood. When she had these moods she never took it out on our patients, it always seemed to be directed more towards me, giving a cold shoulder, the silent treatment or an “evil eye”. Since I was a new manager I wanted to “win” her over and make the best employee of her that I possibly could. I bent over backwards with kindness and treats, trying to let her know that I thought she had potential and we were willing to invest in her because we saw that potential. But, it didn’t seem to help, in fact, at times it seemed to make her more angry at me, which really had me baffled. In trying to talk to her “during her nice times” I did find out that her father was in law enforcement, she had an older sister that was “perfect” in her parents eyes (at least that is what she thought) and her household was ruled with a “heavy hand”. These bits of information gave me some insight into why she may have authority issues. As time went on and I continued to try “win” her over, things just got worse and then one day after she got a phone call from her roommate during lunch hour she just blew-up, ranting and raving, yelling in the office (thankfully it was lunch hour), I was horrified by her behavior and told her to stop immediately, that her behavior was unacceptable and she told me to go to “—-!” I asked her to go outside and come back in when she was calm and ready to talk. When she returned she wasn’t happy, but she did apologize for what she said and asked that I not fire her over it. Being a new manager of course I wanted to make a good employee out of her so my boss would see that I was capable of managing even “tough” employees. I did tell her that if she did exhibit this type of behavior again that it would be terms for immediate termination, she agreed and promised not to do it again. Now to let you in on a little secrete my employer had been telling me to let her go for several months, but I wanted to prove my management skills by turning her around, that shows you how immature my management skills were, willing to take abuse from an employee because I wanted to make a good employee out of her, I cringe when I think of it now. Well things went sort of okay for the next few weeks, only because she hardly spoke to me, but she did do her job, so I felt there was not much I could do. Then one afternoon when we were working I could tell she was really bothered by something and asked if everything was okay and she just blew up, telling me everything that was wrong along with what she thought about me and our employer, screaming and shaking her fist at me. Then from somewhere deep within, I stood up and told her that was it and she was fired, she was to gather her stuff and leave the building now. She looked at me and said “you had better watch your back, because you never know when I will get you.” Shocked and scared I called the police and reported her threat, and for months I was on the look out for her. Wow, I let this happen to me, I saw the signs almost two years earlier but because I wanted to prove something and give someone a chance, I totally missed that this person had some real problems and a total disregard for authority in the workplace. What a lesson I learned and the hard way. But just to let you know that several years later my employer and I were looking for office equipment and saw her working in the store as a greeter, we both when up to her and said hi and asked how she was doing. She was totally shocked, but we could tell that she also was very happy that even though she threatened me that we could let it go and treat her kindly, and chalk this negative situation up to experience. Not an experience that I want to repeat though. This was a tough lesson but one that I would not trade for anything, because it did make me a better manager and I am thankful for that.
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