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Dealing with Lies at Work

Writer's picture: Tina Del BuonoTina Del Buono

What do you do when a co-worker or employee lies to you?  At first you are usually a bit taken back in disbelief that they have actually lied and ask yourself did I just hear what I thought I heard?  The first thing to do when you think that you have been lied to by a co-worker or employee is not to over-react.  Right away ask for them to repeat what they said so you make sure you have heard correctly, but then do not say anything until you have had time to really think it through.  It is sad to say but “white lies” have become a natural part of what takes place in society today, but this does not mean that you need to just let them slide, especially when ethics and integrity play a large part in our business environment.  If you are correct in what you heard and it was a lie, then you need to think about what may have caused this person to react by not telling the truth, put yourself, if you can, in their position and ponder why would you say what they said.  By taking this time you also will clam down and be able to think clearer and that will allow you to speak clearer when you confront the person.  It will help if you can tell the person whom you need to confront that you need to talk to them about what they said about “———–.”  This will let the person know you want to talk to them about what they said and give them time to prepare.  When the actual confrontation takes place make sure that you are not in “attack mode” remember you are trying to find out why they lied, work through it, and move forward, so keep your cool.  Then tell them what they said, why you believe this is not true, and ask them to help you understand why it happened.  Many times the person being confronted, knowing what they were going to be confronted with, will already be ready to apologize or explain why they did it. This is great, done deal, slap on the hand and move along (especially if this is a first offense).   If this is not the case then they may add lies onto the lie and make matters worse or just stick to the one lie and not budge.  No matter which of the last two you encounter, you need to address it with whatever office polices are in place regarding “speaking the truth”, ethics and integrity in the office.  Make your encounter a teachable experience for all parties, but also let them know that dishonesty is not acceptable and will be dealt with because a team cannot work to the highest standards if each of its members does not play by the highest standards.

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