When working with a client recently they expressed they were having some difficulty working with a person whom they outsourced some business tasks. Whenever there “seems” to be an error on submitted paperwork to the contractor they call the manager and speak to them in a condescending and accusatory way.
The manager is knowledgeable and skilled in the tasks that are being outsourced and takes it very personally when these calls happen. They have trained their staff well and feel as though the vendor thinks otherwise.
When I asked how often are the office was correct and the vendor is incorrect it was about 70% if not higher the vendor has been incorrect once the issue was researched.
The real problem was not that the vendor had questions; it was how they handled the situation. They accused the office of doing things incorrectly and the contractor used a loud and accusatory voice. The manager is professional and does not talk loud or down to others. They said that after dealing with this person her whole day would be ruined and she would take the upset feeling home and dwell on it. The manager wanted to know how to handle the contractor better.
Sometimes what needs to happen is a frank conversation with the person letting them know that when they speak in the manner they do how it affects you. Many times people do not realize how “harsh or condescending” they sound, if you never tell them.
Maybe they speak this way because of where they grew up and the culture they were raised in. I know I am Italian and when I go to Italy and hear people having discussions it sometimes sounds like they are going to have a fistfight and then they end up laughing.
There have been times when I have had patients upset with something and they “unload” on me. I will wait until they are done speaking and then ask, “Is there something that I personally have done to upset you?” They always say, “No.” I then respond, “Oh that is good because by the way you are speaking it sounds like I had made you angry.” This usually calms them down and most of the time they apologize and explain why they are upset and then I can help fix the situation.
Clearing the air with those we work with and those we serve during heated conversations is necessary if we plan to work together in a peaceful way. Never be afraid to ask, “Is there something that I personally did to upset you?” It helps shift the mind of the person who is speaking in a harsh or unprofessional manner to you.
Comments